Dating anxiety is a pretty normal thing when you are starting over again. Getting over the fear and insecurity can simply be a process of learning how to cope with them as they arise. So let's take a little look at how to de-stress and enjoy the adventure that we refer to as dating.
If it has been awhile since you have been an active participate in the dating scene then starting over again can indeed be more than a little stressful. It can feel uncomfortable to put yourself back out there on public display.
A lot of times the stress is unnecessary. People simply start thinking far more than they should and it is the expectations created that can make dating an uncomfortable experience.
You have to learn to simply relax and look at each date as an evening out or as a new experience that should be enjoyed for the entertainment that it provides. Just relax and enjoy spending the evening with this new person.
We Often Have a Tendency to Over Think Things
Try not to over complicate the issue. Accept each date for exactly what it is, time spent with a person that you may or may not know but someone that you are attempting to get to know better. Then just relax and enjoy the time spent out with this new person for whatever the experience may be worth.
Take the pressure off and simply enjoy the adventure of discovering who they are. He/she does not have to be your future life partner nor does he/she have to be someone that you will even see again once this date is over.
On the opposite end of the scale try not to start building little white picket fences right out of the gate. It can be pretty easy to let one's imagination start wandering and attribute characteristics to a person which they may not truly have. Don’t allow yourself to start thinking too far into the future before you have a chance to really get to know this person.
Starting Over Again Can Feel a Little Uncomfortable
Stay Calm - Stay Confident
Remember that you are in control. If you feel uncomfortable you can end this first meeting at any time. You have no obligations to this person, it is simply an encounter to meet and investigate this person to discover if they might be compatible with you.
This date may result in a friendship, a relationship, or no further contact past this first meeting. You are in control of how this relationship goes. If it does not look good don't hesitate to end it at this point.
Look at the date as an experience or chance outing. Going for coffee, for lunch at a local restaurant, to the movies, to a concert? These are all great experiences if you were going with friends or family so simply relax and look at this date as a chance outing. It is entertainment. A new adventure. Enjoy.
Dating is simply a means to find a compatible companion. You do not have to spend the rest of your life with this person. To be polite you really only have to spend about 20 minutes on the date and if you feel uncomfortable you can leave right away. This encounter is a chance to meet and investigate a person to discover if they might be compatible with you. That companionship may result in a friendship, a relationship, or no further contact past this first encounter.
Shaking off the Stress and Insecurity so you can Relax
First dates and the anticipation leading up to them can be nerve wracking. You want to make the best impression that you possibly can. You want to be charming, witty, and cute rolled into one attractive package.
Problem is that your sweat glands are working overtime, your hay fever is acting up, and this is just about the time when a brand new bright red pimple makes an appearance right in the middle of your forehead.
Dating can be hard on the old heart. The stress can be overpowering to the point that you start thinking that it might be better to just forget the whole idea of getting out there.
Trying to find someone to help fill those lonely hours isn't always easy. You may find yourself confronting fears of acceptance and rejection that you didn't even know existed. How on earth do you manage to put your nervousness to the side so you can pull this first date off?
Feeling a Little Anxious When you Start Dating Again is Normal
Dating can definitely bring out all those feelings of insecurity that you thought you had abandoned back in high school.
It's important to keep confidence in yourself. Dress in attire that you feel both comfortable and attractive in. When you feel uncomfortable in your clothing then you are more apt to feel uncomfortable in your attitude. If you look attractive then you will feel attractive.
Dating can make you very aware of all the little creases and wrinkles that have appeared in your body over time. Will you measure up? It can be far too easy to start examining the tiny fibers of your personality and looks.
If this is the first time you are meeting try to keep the meeting casual. Getting together for a cup of coffee at a local restaurant will insure that there is not too great an expectation put onto this first date. Also it allows for a quick exit should you choose to end it early.
Always keep in mind that you can end this date at any time. You are under no obligation to remain.
Don't analyze yourself, your partner, or the situation too much. Just let the date flow. Ask questions if you are curious about an issue or if something concerns you. If you feel uncomfortable then encourage them to do the majority of the talking.
What do you talk about? Just be yourself. You don't want to portray yourself as someone you are not. If you don't click as a couple then you don't click. Try to just relax and simply enjoy the experience, then move on again in your search for someone who may be more compatible with you.
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Be Comfortable in Your Appearance
Feeling confident in your appearance will help you feel more confident on your date.
Dress appropriately for your evening out. Don't overdress. Dress to fit the atmosphere. Wear clothes that while comfortable are not too casual as to make it look like you are not concerned about your appearance.
If you know where you are going for the evening then your clothing choice will be much easier to make. Don't be afraid to ask your date what you will be doing that evening so you are able to dress for the occasion.
Be clean and presentable. Remember that a small pimple or other flaw is forgivable. We all get them.
What if he or she has cleanliness issues? What if you do? Ick!
When choosing a fragrance remember to wear a milder scent that will not overpower your date. You don't want to give your companion an asthma attack and wind up spending the evening at your local emergency ward.
Many Couples are now Meeting Online
The modern dating world is much different. Online dating now has individuals meeting absolute strangers. Dating can be risky business and any reservations you are feeling about that first meeting may be justified.
You know nothing about this person other than the information that they have decided to place on their profile. Has this person told the truth? Are they a player, a con artist, a stalker, violent, or perhaps a mass murderer? It happens.
It is always best to be safe now than to be sorry later. Do not give out your address or have your date pick you up at your home. Always meet in a public place for your first few meetings. He or she does not need to know everything about you right away. Play safe and stay safe.
Positive aspects of meeting someone new? Perhaps your date will have a great sense of humor, be a great conversationalist, or a very good listener. Sometimes just listening to their stories or experiences can bring you a new perspective to how you view life.
Enjoy the experience of meeting this new person for exactly what it is, an opportunity to meet someone, and to get to know them as little or as much as you choose to. Relax in the adventure of the experience but remember to play it safe. Take precautions.
Choose an Appropriate Location
Have an Escape Plan so You Can End the Date Early
Of course sometimes first dates can have a natural tendency to run the opposite direction from what you had anticipated and you may find yourself spending the evening looking for ways to get home as early as possible.
In which case having some unpredictable disaster occur that allows you a quick exit may not be such a bad thing at all. It is okay to have an escape plan in place. There really are no set rules to dating. When it comes to ending the evening leave when you feel it is best for you to exit the scene.
One other piece of advice from the world’s clumsiest human: Wear shoes that you are comfortable in.
There isn't much that can go worse on a first date than tripping in a slippery pair of heels, spinning a fantastic triple axle, bouncing off a wall, and winding up in a tumbled heap at your date's feet. The look of horror on your date's face is almost enough to have you melting into the nearest wall. Yep, I've been there and done that. It was embarrassing.
Having Difficulty Meeting Someone?
When it comes to fragrances that attract people to one another food scents rank high on the list. Studies indicate that ocean breeze, chocolate, vanilla, and kiwi are among some of the most potent scents for attracting a lover to your side.
Studies Indicate That Specific Scents are Attractive
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