Temper tantrums, screaming fits, hitting, punching and kicking are all visible signs of anger in a child.
These displays of hostility in a young child can be enough to strain even the most patient parent's nerve endings but it can be difficult to know the best methods of dealing with an angry child.
Often the first step in removing the anger in a child is in finding out exactly where it is coming from. It takes an honest assessment of the situation and often a tremendous degree of patience on your part to change the behavior of an angry child.
Anger in a child is often brought out because of an underlying emotion such as hurt feelings or frustration. When they are in a situation that they feel that they have no control over a child will often express this dissatisfaction in anger.
Where Does all that Anger Come From?
An Angry Child is Often Simply a Frustrated Child
Young children often do not have the verbal skills to communicate their hurt feelings so they use temper tantrums to vent their frustrations and to get their point across. Anger is often the external display of an internal conflict.
If a child is unable to express his or her feelings, discuss, or deal with uncomfortable situations then their frustration is generally displayed in anger or aggression.
Temper tantrums are a common occurrence in children from two to four years of age. As a child develops better communication and conflict resolution skills then the frequency of temper tantrums should reduce and eventually disappear.
If a child in the age range of 5 or up is still showing displays of anger then it may be a change in how you communicate with your child that will be needed to remove the angry behavior displayed by your child.
Issues of bullying at school or in the home may be the reason for this anger. The child may be too young to communicate to fix the issues that are frustrating them so they vent that frustration in anger.
Playing Together Can Open the Lines of Communication
It is Important for Children to be Able to Voice an Opinion
Finding the cause of the child's frustration is key so it is very important to open a relaxed conversation with the child where they will free to discuss the issues without repercussion.
We respect the opinions and feelings of other individuals who we interact with throughout the day but sometimes we do not realize that our children deserve this same respect and courtesy. Kids need to feel that their opinions are important.
Often the first step in changing a child's behavior is for the parent to change their attitude or behavior. Insure that you give your children ample opportunity to express their feelings.
It can be just too easy for a parent to take the rights of parenthood a little too far and completely over take their child's right to voice their opinions when they are disappointed, hurt, or frustrated. Giving children the freedom to negotiate their rights when they are young will help to keep open those lines of communication when they become teenagers.
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Respected Communication by Both Child and Parent is Important
It can take some real patience and open mindedness to keep communication between parent and child fair. Children can have a very different viewpoint of the situation than an adult but listening and respecting the child's opinion is an important part of the communication and negotiation process.
These are important communication skills that will be required of them throughout their life. Children have to learn how to successfully discuss and to negotiate on their own behalf a change to the issues that affect them.
If a child feels that they do not have the power to voice their opinions or have the ability to enact a change to their circumstances then they will often display their feelings and frustrations in anger or aggression. Do you give your child ample opportunity to voice their opinion no matter how different from your own it may be? Motivate your child to be positive and assertive.
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Is Their Anger a Reflection of Your Own?
Anger may be the way that your child has been taught to deal with emotional situations. Does aggressive behavior exist in your home for your child to model his or her self after?
Their aggressive behavior may be a reflection of how other older family members deal with emotional situations, and actually a product of your, or your spouse's behavior.
If a child views on a regular basis a member of the family get their way by using anger against another family member then the child also learns that anger can be used to change the events in their world.
The child then models their behavior to reflect that of their parents. Their anger is a direct result of your own emotional responses to dealing with issues in the home.
It takes a lot of courage, and a lot of patience, to change your behavior patterns so that you might also change the behavior of your child. The time and effort is well worth it. A happy positive child will be the result.
Let Positive Behavior Model Your Children
Quality time spent with children is so very important. The days are busy but a half hour each night can make your child feel safe and secure at the end of the day. Reading a story together at bedtime can be one of the nicest ways for a child and parent to connect with one another. Reading can be important time spent together. Quality time together can make a tremendous difference to opening the lines of communication between parent and child.
Life is all About Learning and Play Really is a Great Way to Learn
Positive Parenting can Help to Reduce the Frustration
Giving kids the best future possible is a gift that every child deserves and positive parenting does this.
The attitude that you use to raise your children will most likely be the attitude that they base their outlook of life on.
Creating kids with a positive attitude begins with you. Allow open communication in your home. Let your child know that their opinions are important. Respect their viewpoint and their feelings.
Allow your child the power to change his world through communication. Being allowed to discuss issues that are important to them will make the child more likely to avoid anger and to enter into conversation to resolve future conflicts. This will help kids move away from aggressive behavior to resolve these same issues.
Unfortunately it can be too easy to assume an authoritarian attitude toward our kids but by not encouraging our children to voice their feelings and opinions we take away their ability to discover how to resolve issues that are important to them. We create frustrated kids.
Take the frustration and anger out of your child. Open the lines of communication in your home. It takes a lot of patience but your kids are so worth it.
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